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It were not best that we should all think alike.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Opinion
Best
Think
Thinking
More quotes by Mark Twain
If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick.
Mark Twain
Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.
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When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
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Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session.
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Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
Mark Twain
Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
Man can seldom - very, very, seldom - fight a winning fight against his training the odds are too heavy.
Mark Twain
One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself
Mark Twain
A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
Mark Twain
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopt.
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Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
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We must put up with clothes as they are they have their reason for existing. They are on us to expose us to advertise what we wear them to conceal.
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I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars...within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch.
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We like to read about rich people in the newspapers the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.
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As a rule, we go about with masks, we go about looking honest, and we are able to conceal ourselves all through the day.
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Newport, Rhode Island, that breeding place-that stud farm, so to speak-of aristocracy aristocracy of the American type.
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When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know.
Mark Twain
Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain
That optimist of yours is always ready to turn hell's backyard into a play-ground.
Mark Twain
There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
Mark Twain
