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Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Many
People
Sleep
Dies

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The insincerity of man-all men are liars, partial or hiders of facts, half tellers of truths, shirks, moral sneaks. When a merely honest man appears he is a comet-his fame is eternal-needs no genius, no talent-mere honesty
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All emotion is involuntary when genuine.
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In love, you pay as you leave.
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If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.
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Patriotism is merely a religion-love of country, worship of country, devotion to the country's flag and honor and welfare.
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. To live a fulfilled life, we need to keep creating the what is next, of our lives. Without dreams and goals there is no living, only merely existing, and that is not why we are here.
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Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
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We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention.
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Every citizen of the republic ought to consider himself an unofficial policeman, and keep unsalaried watch and ward over the laws and their execution.
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I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me.
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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
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We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.
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There is no family in America without a clock, and consequently there is no fair pretext for the usual Sunday medley of dreadful sounds that issues from our steeples.
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A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.
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The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.
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The heart is the real fountain of youth.
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A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
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Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'
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