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When I want to read something nice, I sit down and write it myself.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Something
Nice
Read
Write
Writing
More quotes by Mark Twain
The funniest things are the forbidden.
Mark Twain
Great enterprises usually promise vastly more than they perform.
Mark Twain
The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.
Mark Twain
To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.
Mark Twain
The solution to our water problems is more rain.
Mark Twain
A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditchdigging. It is the insanest of all recreations. The inventor of it overlooked no detail that could furnish weariness, distress, harassment, and acute and long-sustained misery of mind and body.
Mark Twain
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
Mark Twain
No one is sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our insanities are of varying sorts, and express themselves in varying forms-fortunately harmless forms as a rule.
Mark Twain
For all the talk you hear about knowledge being such a wonderful thing, instinct is worth forty of it for real unerringness.
Mark Twain
One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
Mark Twain
I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.
Mark Twain
It is my custom to keep on talking until I get the audience cowed.
Mark Twain
I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
Mark Twain
College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.
Mark Twain
Morals are not the important thing-nor enlightenment-nor civilization. A man can do absolutely well without them, but he can't do without something to eat. The supremest thing is the need of the body, not of the mind and spirit.
Mark Twain
The ancients stole all our ideas from us.
Mark Twain
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture he will never get a set which can really be depended on 'till a dentist makes him one.
Mark Twain
The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
Mark Twain
Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles
Mark Twain
Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.
Mark Twain