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When I want to read something nice, I sit down and write it myself.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Write
Writing
Something
Nice
Read

More quotes by Mark Twain

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You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
Mark Twain
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Frankenstein took some flesh and bones and blood and made a man out of them the man ran away and fell to raping and robbing and murdering everywhere, and Frankenstein was horrified and in despair, and said, I made him, without asking his consent, and it makes me responsible for every crime he commits. I am the criminal, he is innocent.
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It’s not the good that die young, it’s the lucky.
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The proverb says, Born lucky, always lucky, and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.
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There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
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An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.
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When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
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He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.
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The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.
Mark Twain
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You may say organize, organize, organize but there may be so much organization that it will interfere with the work to be done.
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Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.
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I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.
Mark Twain
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Public Servant: Persons chosen by the people to distribute the graft.
Mark Twain
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Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.
Mark Twain
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And so I am become a knight of the Kingdom of Dreams and Shadows
Mark Twain
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What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
Mark Twain
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I am always on the side of the revolutionists, because there never was a revolution unless there were some oppressive and intolerable conditions against which to revolute.
Mark Twain
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Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
Mark Twain
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Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.
Mark Twain
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Do you reckon Tom Sawyer was satisfied after all them adventures?
Mark Twain