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There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Stories
Kind
Several
Humorous
Kinds
Difficult
More quotes by Mark Twain
Praise is well, compliment is well, but affection-that is the last and most precious reward that any man can win, whether by character or achievement.
Mark Twain
I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying about somebody that was going to die.
Mark Twain
The Bible is a wonderful book you can prove anything you want with it.
Mark Twain
We have the best government that money can buy.
Mark Twain
There is this trouble about special providences namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.
Mark Twain
I have criticized absent people so often, and then discovered, to my humiliation, that I was talking with their relatives, that I have grown superstitious about that sort of thing and dropped it.
Mark Twain
Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
Mark Twain
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.
Mark Twain
Twenty-four years ago I was strangely handsome in San Francisco in the rainy season I was often mistaken for fair weather.
Mark Twain
When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.
Mark Twain
Our best built certainties are but sand-houses and subject to damage from any wind of doubt that blows
Mark Twain
My land, the power of training! Of influence! Of education! It can bring a body up to believe anything.
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The critic's symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else's dung, otherwise he could not hatch it.
Mark Twain
What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows - it must grow nothing can prevent it.
Mark Twain
I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.
Mark Twain
I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
Mark Twain
Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
Mark Twain
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.
Mark Twain
This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
Mark Twain
There are things which some people never attempt during their whole lives, but one of these is not poetry. Poetry attacks all human beings sooner or later, and, like the measles, is mild or violent according to the age of the sufferer.
Mark Twain
