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There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Kinds
Difficult
Stories
Kind
Several
Humorous

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In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
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The vast majority of the race whether savage or civilized, are secretly kind at heart and shrink from inflicting pain, but in the presence of the aggressive and pitiless minority they don't dare to assert themselves.
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A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned
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Drop this mean and sordid and selfish devotion to the saving of your shabby little souls, and hunt up something to do that's got some dignity to it! Risk your souls! Risk them in good causes then if you lose them, why should you care? Reform!
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I was born modest not all over, but in spots.
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You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
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Never waste a lie you never know when you may need it.
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I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is hogwash
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Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
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The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.
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If a spectacle is going to be particularly imposing I prefer to see it through somebody else's eyes, because that man will always exaggerate. Then I can exaggerate his exaggeration, and my account of the thing will be the most impressive.
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The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
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Troubles are only mental it is the mind that manufactures them, and the mind can gorge them, banish them, abolish them.
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Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought.
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The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.
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There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless.
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I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest.
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My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
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