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There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Several
Humorous
Kinds
Difficult
Stories
Kind

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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
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The only people who should use the possessive 'we' are kings, newspaper editors, and persons with tapeworms.
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Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
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If horses knew their strength we should not ride anymore.
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Life becomes fully understandable only the moment we realise that we are all mad.
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A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.
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My land, the power of training! Of influence! Of education! It can bring a body up to believe anything.
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She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot
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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
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There is not a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
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Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.
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It is the will of God that we must have critics, and missionaries, and Congressmen, and humorists, and we must bear the burden. Meantime, I seem to have been drifting into criticism myself. But that is nothing. At the worst, criticism is nothing more than a crime, and I am not unused to that.
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My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies.
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Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys.
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We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.
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In forgiving, people are not being asked to forget. On the contrary, it is important to remember, so that we should not let such atrocities happen again. Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. It means taking what happened seriously...drawing out the sting in the memory that threatens our entire existence.
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To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.
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If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
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How superbly brave is the Englishman in the presence of the awfulest forms of danger and death and how abject in the presence of any and all forms of hereditary rank.
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The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
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