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Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Repeat
Repeats
Idiot
Imagine
Politics
Also
Congressman
Alas

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Time spent with your children is time wisely spent.
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All human rules are more or less idiotic.
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Some things you can't find out but you will never know you can't by guessing and supposing: no, you have to be patient and go on experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.
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Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.
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Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more dreaded than wolves and death.
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Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
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Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.
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When one's character begins to fall under suspicion and disfavor, how swift, then, is the work of disintegration and destruction.
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You can't make a life over. Society wouldn't let you if you would.
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To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.
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The frankest and freest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter the writer gets his limitless freedom of statement and expression from his sense that no stranger is going to see what he is writing.
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When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.
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I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
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When a man stands on the verge of seventy-two you know perfectly well that he never reached that place without knowing what this life is - heartbreaking bereavement.
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Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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