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I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Culinary
Milk
Prefer
Cooking
Inspiration
Food

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To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
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Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
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The truth is a precious commodity. That's why I use it so sparingly.
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If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?
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It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.
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Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.
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The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work.
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There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!
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Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?
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The exquisitely bad is as satisfying to the soul as the exquisitely good. Only the mediocre is unendurable.
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Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only once to the insane.
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All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter and Lazarus had the worst.
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Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.
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The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all.
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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.
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The Bible is a wonderful book you can prove anything you want with it.
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Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.
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Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.
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If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.
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Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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