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We love old travelers: we love to hear them prate, drivel and lie we love them for their asinine vanity, their ability to bore, their luxuriant fertility of imagination, their startling, brilliant, overwhelming mendacity.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Hear
Fertility
Imagination
Bore
Prate
Ability
Traveler
Asinine
Lying
Bores
Luxuriant
Love
Overwhelming
Mendacity
Vanity
Drivel
Brilliant
Travelers
Travel
Startling

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Life does not consist mainly - or even largely - of facts and happenings.
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As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy it was not named in his cargo list and he and the boys were not aware that there was such a creature. He said he could not blame himself for not knowing about the dinosaur, because it was an American animal and America had not then been discovered.
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Bridgeport? Said I. Camelot, Said he.
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To eat is human, to digest, divine
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Sum all the gifts that man is endowed with, and we give our greatest share of admiration to his energy. And today, if I were a heathen, I would rear a statue to Energy and fall down and worship it!
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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What a lumbering poor vehicle prose is for the conveying of a great thought! ... Prose wanders around with a lantern & laboriously schedules & verifies the details & particulars of a valley & its frame of crags & peaks, then Poetry comes, & lays bare the whole landscape with a single splendid flash.
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The xmas holidays have this high value: that they remind Forgetters of the Forgotten, & repair damaged relationships.
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You can't throw too much style into a miracle.
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All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.
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We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
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God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
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There is nothing more awe-inspiring than a miracle except the credulity that can take it at par.
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What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth.
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When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.
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What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.
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I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.
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I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is hogwash
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There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!
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Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
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