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We love old travelers: we love to hear them prate, drivel and lie we love them for their asinine vanity, their ability to bore, their luxuriant fertility of imagination, their startling, brilliant, overwhelming mendacity.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Love
Overwhelming
Mendacity
Vanity
Drivel
Brilliant
Travelers
Travel
Startling
Hear
Fertility
Imagination
Bore
Prate
Ability
Traveler
Asinine
Lying
Bores
Luxuriant

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Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.
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That optimist of yours is always ready to turn hell's backyard into a play-ground.
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There isn't any way to libel the human race.
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There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.
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They did not know it was impossible so they did it
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Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.
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Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
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The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.
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It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.
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That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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The critic's symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else's dung, otherwise he could not hatch it.
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Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.
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What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
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Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
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A historian who would convey the truth has got to lie. Often he must enlarge the truth by diameters, otherwise his reader would not be able to see it.
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How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!
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Eternal rest sounds comforting in the pulpit well, you try it once, and see how heavy time will hang on your hands.
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A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.
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Better a broken promise than none at all.
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