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If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Fetch
Corpse
Corpses
Fresh
Nice
Death
More quotes by Mark Twain
Each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak.
Mark Twain
The thing for us to do is just to do our duty, and not worry about whether anybody sees us do it or not.
Mark Twain
The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all.
Mark Twain
Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
Mark Twain
If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?
Mark Twain
We recognize that there are no trivial occurrences in life if we get the right focus on them.
Mark Twain
Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.
Mark Twain
There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.
Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
Mark Twain
Some things you can't find out but you will never know you can't by guessing and supposing: no, you have to be patient and go on experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.
Mark Twain
Success is a journey, not a destination. It requires constant effort, vigilance and reevaluation.
Mark Twain
It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened.
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But we love the Old Travelers. We love to hear them prate and drivel and lie.
Mark Twain
Always tell the truth then you don't have to remember anything
Mark Twain
Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.
Mark Twain
Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.
Mark Twain
None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.
Mark Twain
The less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it
Mark Twain
When you feel like tellin a feller to go to the devil - tell him to go to Chicago - it'll anser every purpose, and is perhaps, a leetle more expensive.
Mark Twain
That is a society editor, sitting there elegantly dressed, with his legs crossed in that indolent way, observing the clothes the ladies wear, so that he can describe them for his paper and make them out finer than they are and get bribes for it and become wealthy.
Mark Twain
