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I was born modest not all over, but in spots.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Modest
Spots
Relation
Born

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It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.
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No one is willing to acknowledge a fault in himself when a more agreeable motive can be found for the estrangement of his acquaintances.
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Travel is lethal to prejudice.
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A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
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We laugh and laugh. Then cry and cry- Then feebler laugh, Then die.
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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.
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And so I am become a knight of the Kingdom of Dreams and Shadows
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Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake he wanted it because it was forbidden.
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Time spent with your children is time wisely spent.
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.
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We like to read about rich people in the newspapers the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.
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Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.
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I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.
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It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
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Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.
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The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.
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In love, you pay as you leave.
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
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I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
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