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I was born modest not all over, but in spots.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Modest
Spots
Relation
Born

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I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.
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A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.
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It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.
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One thing at a time, is my motto - and just play that thing for all it is worth, even if it's only tto pair and a jack.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
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Medicine has made all its progress during the past fifty years. ... How many operations that are now in use were known fifty years ago?-they were not operations, they were executions.
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Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
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History may not repeat, but it often rhymes.
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In the ancient city of London, on a certain autumn day in the second quarter of the sixteenth century, a boy was born to a poor family of the name of Canty, who did not want him.
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It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want—oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
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A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it.
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The sole impulse which dictates and compels a man's every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval, in every emergency and at all costs.... It is our only spur, our whip, our goad, our impelling power we have no other.
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All our acts, reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish
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To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
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I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.
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Experience, the only logic sure to convince a diseased imagination and restore it to rugged health.
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The frankest and freest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter the writer gets his limitless freedom of statement and expression from his sense that no stranger is going to see what he is writing.
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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