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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Things
Laws
Watches
Watch
Nobody
Law
Two
Ever
Made
Sausage

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The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn't indicate or promise, and which the other kind of eye couldn't detect.
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It takes me a long time to lose my temper, but once lost I could not find it with a dog.
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when we badly want a thing, we go to hunting for good and righteous reasons for it we give it that fine name to comfort our consciences, whereas we privately know we are only hunting for plausible ones.
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Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.
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Sometimes people do get hurt
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A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?
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I have tried getting up early, and I have tried getting up late-and the latter agrees with me best.
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The ignorant are afraid to betray surprise or admiration...they think it ill manners.
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If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.
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If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the Constitution, it would be better all around.
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Some civilized women would lose half their charm without dress and some would lose all of it.
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To stand still is to fall behind.
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I wish I could make him understand that a loving good heart is riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty.
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Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.
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Change is the handmaiden Nature requires to do her miracles with.
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Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent then he would have eaten the serpent.
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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
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There's some human instinct which makes a man treasure what he is not to make any use of, because everybody does not possess it.
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Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.
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