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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Nobody
Law
Two
Ever
Made
Sausage
Things
Laws
Watches
Watch

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The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print
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Conformity—the natural instinct to passively yield to that vague something recognized as authority.
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Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'
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Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.
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The secret of getting ahead is getting started
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There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.
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Such is luck! And such the treatment which honest, good perservance gets so often at the hands of unfair and malicious Nature!
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The ability to find solutions to life's challenges is what makes us grow as a person.
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In other localities certain places in the streams are much better than others, but at Niagara one place is just as good as another, for the reason that the fish do not bite anywhere.
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The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
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Out of the depths of my happy heart wells a great tide of love and prayer for this priceless treasure that is confided to my lifelong keeping. You cannot see its waves as they flow toward you, darling, but in these lines you will hear...the distant beating of its surf.
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What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?
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Public Servant: Persons chosen by the people to distribute the graft.
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It has taken a weary long time to persuade American Presbyterians to give up infant damnation and try to bear it the best they can.
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Each season brings a world of enjoyment and interest in the watching of its unfolding, its gradual harmonious development, its culminating graces-and just as one begins to tire of it, it passes away and a radical change comes, with new witcheries and new glories in its train.
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To eat is human, to digest, divine
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No throne exists that has a right to exist, and no symbol of it, flying from any flagstaff, is righteously entitled to wear any device but the skull and crossbones of that kindred industry which differs from royalty only businesswise-merely as retail differs from wholesale.
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When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
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Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.
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