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A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Fine
Wrong
Funny
Wells
Well
Taxes
More quotes by Mark Twain
It is better to support schools than jails.
Mark Twain
I don't believe any of you have ever read Paradise Lost, and you don't want to. That's something that you just want to take on trust. It's a classic ... something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
Mark Twain
Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him has passion for him sits up nights to admire him yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.
Mark Twain
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Mark Twain
How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
Mark Twain
There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.
Mark Twain
If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.
Mark Twain
That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.
Mark Twain
Out of the depths of my happy heart wells a great tide of love and prayer for this priceless treasure that is confided to my lifelong keeping. You cannot see its waves as they flow toward you, darling, but in these lines you will hear...the distant beating of its surf.
Mark Twain
In other localities certain places in the streams are much better than others, but at Niagara one place is just as good as another, for the reason that the fish do not bite anywhere.
Mark Twain
It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.
Mark Twain
The exquisitely bad is as satisfying to the soul as the exquisitely good. Only the mediocre is unendurable.
Mark Twain
Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
Mark Twain
You may call a jay a bird. Well, so he is, in a measure--because he's got feathers on him, and don't belong to no church, perhapsbut otherwise he is just as much a human as you be. And I'll tell you for why. A jay's gifts and instincts, and feelings, and interests, cover the whole ground. A jay hasn't got any more principle than a Congressman.
Mark Twain
I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.
Mark Twain
All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies a foot of land that was not stolen.
Mark Twain
Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
Mark Twain
I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
Mark Twain
Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.
Mark Twain
The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it.
Mark Twain
