Quote

A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt

Mark Twain

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Men
Uncles
Aunt
Cross
Crosses
Hump
Fun
Mustn
Funny
Backed
Another
Eyed
Make
Uncle

More quotes by Mark Twain

Image
I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.
Mark Twain
Image
Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.
Mark Twain
Image
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain
Image
But it warn't no time to be sentimentering.
Mark Twain
Image
You don't know about me, without you have read a book by the name of 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,' but that ain't no matter. That book was made by a Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly.
Mark Twain
Image
Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.
Mark Twain
Image
There are things which some people never attempt during their whole lives, but one of these is not poetry. Poetry attacks all human beings sooner or later, and, like the measles, is mild or violent according to the age of the sufferer.
Mark Twain
Image
Learning softeneth the heart and breedeth gentleness and charity.
Mark Twain
Image
Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
Mark Twain
Image
Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
Mark Twain
Image
A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.
Mark Twain
Image
when you recollect something which belonged in an earlier chapter, do not go back, but jam it in where you are . Discursiveness does not hurt an autobiography in the least.
Mark Twain
Image
It were not best that we should all think alike.
Mark Twain
Image
You may say organize, organize, organize but there may be so much organization that it will interfere with the work to be done.
Mark Twain
Image
Nature knows no indecencies man invents them.
Mark Twain
Image
There is nothing more awe-inspiring than a miracle except the credulity that can take it at par.
Mark Twain
Image
Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
Mark Twain
Image
In the laboratory there are no fustian ranks, no brummagem aristocracies the domain of Science is a republic, and all its citizens are brothers and equals, its princes of Monaco and its stonemasons of Cromarty meeting, barren of man-made gauds and meretricious decorations, upon the one majestic level!
Mark Twain
Image
Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
Image
Unused talents gives you no advantage over someone who has no talent at all.
Mark Twain