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A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
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Science Fiction Writer
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Crosses
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Mustn
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More quotes by Mark Twain
I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.
Mark Twain
He wa'n't no common dog, he wa'n't no mongrel he was a composite. A composite dog is a dog that is made up of all the valuable qualities that's in the dog breed-kind of a syndicate and a mongrel is made up of all riffraff that's left over.
Mark Twain
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.
Mark Twain
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'
Mark Twain
The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all.
Mark Twain
I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age in 1977 I shall be 142.
Mark Twain
Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
Mark Twain
Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?
Mark Twain
I've dealt with many crises in my life, but few will ever happen.
Mark Twain
All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.
Mark Twain
A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.
Mark Twain
What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can honestly if we must. Who is God, the one and only true? Money is God. Gold and Greenbacks and Stock-father, son, and ghosts of same, three persons in one These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
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There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
Mark Twain
Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
Mark Twain
It is better to give than receive- especially advice.
Mark Twain
An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.
Mark Twain
In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it.
Mark Twain
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities Truth isn't.
Mark Twain
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
Mark Twain
