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When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Made
World
Overpopulated
Idiots
Idiot
Proof
Become
More quotes by Mark Twain
I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache and what is more, I never intend to have it.
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Dates are hard to remember because they consist of figures figures are monotonously unstriking in appearance, and they don't take hold, they form no pictures, and so they give the eye no chance to help. Pictures are the thing. Pictures can make dates stick.
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They did not know it was impossible so they did it
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The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it.
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I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.
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There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.
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His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
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Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
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As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy it was not named in his cargo list and he and the boys were not aware that there was such a creature. He said he could not blame himself for not knowing about the dinosaur, because it was an American animal and America had not then been discovered.
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Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
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An uneasy conscience is a hair in the mouth.
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Armor is heavy, yet it is a proud burden, and a man standeth straight in it.
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It was a place of sin, loose women, whiskey and gambling. It was no place for a good Presbyterian, and I did not long remain one.
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Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
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I have no race prejudices, and I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. Indeed I know it. I can stand any society. All that I care to know is that a man is a human being-that is enough for me he can't be any worse.
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An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.
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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
Mark Twain
