Quote

There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Home
Near
Miles
Unsuccessful
Rivers
Lakes
Sea
Fishing
Walking
Depend
Depends
Fish
Five
Fishes
Use
Boat

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Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity but bet on the other one -- this is business.
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There has never been a Protestant boy nor a Protestant girl whose mind the Bible has not soiled.
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If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes.
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When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full manhood they still retain and cherish a job lot of left-over standards and ideals that would have been discarded with their boyhood if they had then moved out into the world and a broader life.
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By common consent of all the nations and all the ages the most valuable thing in this world is the homage of men, whether deserved or undeserved.
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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
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When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.
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The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.
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It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Overnight success is a fallacy. It is preceded by a great deal of preparation. Ask any successful person how they came to this point in their lives, and they will have a story to tell.
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...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.
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When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.
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I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn't.
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What's the use you learning to do right , when it's troublesome to do right and it ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
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I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.
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Ignorance is not not knowin' - Ignorance is knowin' what ain't so.
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But old fools is the biggest fools there is.
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I hope all of us may eventually be together in everlasting peace and bliss -- except the inventor of the # telephone .
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The cigar-box which the European calls a 'lift' needs but to be compared with our elevators to be appreciated. The lift stops to reflect between floors. That is all right in a hearse, but not in elevators. The American elevator acts like a man's patent purge-it works.
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A mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.
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