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I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Smoke
Cigars
Allow
Ordinarily
Five
Intervals
Hours
Cigar
Interest
Reaches
Point
Enthusiastic
Might
Fifteen
Labour
Labours

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America cannot have an empire abroad and a Republic at home.
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Choosing not to read is like closing an open door to paradise
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Good wine needs no bush a jug is the thing.
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I have a religion-but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none for the poor.....Perhaps your religion will sustain you,will feed you-I place no dependence in mine. Our religions are alike, though, in one respect-neither can make a man happy when he is out of luck.
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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
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The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.
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It is hopeless for the occasional visitor to try to keep up with Chicago-she outgrows his prophecies faster than he can make them. She is always a novelty for she is never the Chicago you saw when you passed through the last time.
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Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.
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History may not repeat, but it often rhymes.
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One holds a bottle of red wine by the neck, a woman by the waist, and a bottle of champagne by the derriere.
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Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.
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If there wasn't anything to find out, it would be dull. Even trying to find out and not finding out is just as interesting as trying to find out and finding out and I don't know but more so.
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I try never to let my schooling get in the way of my education.
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Frankness is a jewel only the young can afford it.
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Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.
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Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only once to the insane.
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
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The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain't so.
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I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.
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