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No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Good
Judge
World
Claims
People
Judging
Bring
Worst
Cigars
House
Cigar
Tell
Claim
Come
Smoke

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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But death was sweet, death was gentle, death was kind death healed the bruised spirit and the broken heart, and gave them rest and forgetfulness death was man’s best friend when man could endure life no longer, death came and set him free.
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Tis Better to Sit there and LOOK the fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.
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We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip may be depended upon in any kind of musical emergency.
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But we love the Old Travelers. We love to hear them prate and drivel and lie.
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The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.
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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
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George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
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Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
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I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.
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Many people have the reasoning facility, but no one uses it in religious matters.
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To be a patriot, one had to say, and keep on saying, Our Country, right or wrong, and urge on the little war. Have you not perceived that that phrase is an insult to the nation?
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A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having.
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The thing for us to do is just to do our duty, and not worry about whether anybody sees us do it or not.
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Better a broken promise than none at all.
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Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide against your conviction is to be an unqualified and excusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let men label you as they may.
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The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the tellingthe comic and the witty story upon the matter.
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The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
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