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No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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More quotes by Mark Twain
Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame.
Mark Twain
At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.
Mark Twain
Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
Mark Twain
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
Mark Twain
There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
Mark Twain
If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in the end more profitable, for it gains gratitude for us, and love.
Mark Twain
Congress: America's only true criminal class.
Mark Twain
Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.
Mark Twain
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'
Mark Twain
Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to good use.
Mark Twain
If I can capture truth in its simplest form, beauty will follow like a sledgehammer.
Mark Twain
The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.
Mark Twain
It is a time when one's spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death.
Mark Twain
If all men were rich, all men would be poor.
Mark Twain
My father was a Saint Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian.
Mark Twain
If you invent two or three people and turn them loose in your manuscript, something is bound to happen to them -- you can't help it and then it will take you the rest of the book to get them out of the natural consequences of that occurrence, and so first thing you know, there's your book all finished up and never cost you an idea.
Mark Twain
Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
Mark Twain
True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
Mark Twain
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Mark Twain
It is wiser to find out than to suppose.
Mark Twain