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If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Cigars
Cigar
Permitted
Smoking
Heaven
More quotes by Mark Twain
Remember this, take this to heart, live by it, die for it if necessary: that our patriotism is medieval, outworn, obsolete that the modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism, is loyalty to the Nation ALL the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.
Mark Twain
A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.
Mark Twain
One may make their house a palace of sham, or they can make it a home, a refuge.
Mark Twain
If the bubble reputation can be obtained only at the cannon's mouth, I am willing to go there for it, provided the cannon is empty.
Mark Twain
We regret the things we don't do more than the things we do.
Mark Twain
But old fools is the biggest fools there is.
Mark Twain
I try never to let my schooling get in the way of my education.
Mark Twain
Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!
Mark Twain
Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.
Mark Twain
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
Mark Twain
A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.
Mark Twain
Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.
Mark Twain
I was born modest not all over, but in spots.
Mark Twain
To be satisfied with what one has that is wealth.
Mark Twain
We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us.
Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
Mark Twain
I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.
Mark Twain
Patriotism is merely a religion-love of country, worship of country, devotion to the country's flag and honor and welfare.
Mark Twain
Constellations have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it will always refuse to live up to it it will always persist in not resembling the thing it has been named for.
Mark Twain
Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.
Mark Twain
