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A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Investing
Rain
Soon
Banker
Somebody
Raining
Takes
Lends
Away
Umbrella
Bankers
Starts

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He was such a good man that people hated to see him coming.
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It is not in the least likely that any life has ever been lived which was not a failure in the secret judgment of the person who lived it.
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Every year you wait, long ago gets farther away.
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I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.
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The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might.
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Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief.
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Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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What a lumbering poor vehicle prose is for the conveying of a great thought! ... Prose wanders around with a lantern & laboriously schedules & verifies the details & particulars of a valley & its frame of crags & peaks, then Poetry comes, & lays bare the whole landscape with a single splendid flash.
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The report of my death was an exaggeration.
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The joy of killing! the joy of seeing killing done - these are traits of the human race at large.
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He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three I attended their funerals.
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Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.
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There will never be a perfect time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you had started today one year ago, this would not even be an issue for you today! Don't waste another year!
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The community is eminently Portuguese - that is to say, it is slow, poor, shiftless, sleepy, and lazy.
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The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
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To believe yourself brave is to be brave it is the one only essential thing.
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