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There has never been a Protestant boy nor a Protestant girl whose mind the Bible has not soiled.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Protestant
Protestants
Bible
Whose
Boys
Girl
Mind
Never
Soiled

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We adore titles and heredities in our hearts and ridicule them with our mouths. This is our democratic privilege.
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Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where all things that are divine belong.
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Success is a journey, not a destination. It requires constant effort, vigilance and reevaluation.
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Humor is man's greatest blessing.
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What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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The catfish is Plenty good enough fish for anyone
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Rags, wretchedness, poverty and dirt, those signs and symbols that indicate the presence of [Muslim] rule more surely than the crescent-flag itself, abound.
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The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him, Where is the best place to go to? He was undecided about it. So the minister told him that each place had its advantages--heaven for climate, and hell for society.
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If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!
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Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to good use.
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The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
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Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart.
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We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
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Cherimoya, the most delicious fruit known to men.
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Between us, we cover all knowledge he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.
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Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
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When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.
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A discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty.
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