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There has never been a Protestant boy nor a Protestant girl whose mind the Bible has not soiled.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Protestants
Bible
Whose
Boys
Girl
Mind
Never
Soiled
Protestant

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I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one.
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He wa'n't no common dog, he wa'n't no mongrel he was a composite. A composite dog is a dog that is made up of all the valuable qualities that's in the dog breed-kind of a syndicate and a mongrel is made up of all riffraff that's left over.
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History has tried hard to teach us that we can't have good government under politicians. Now, to go and stick one at the very head of the government couldn't be wise.
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Constellations have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it will always refuse to live up to it it will always persist in not resembling the thing it has been named for.
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He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.
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An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.
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A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
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It is curious and interesting to notice what an attraction a fussy, mincing, nickel-plated word has for you.
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The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all.
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When someone dies, it is like when your house burns down it isn't for years that you realize the full extent of your loss.
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God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
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If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.
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The proverb says, Born lucky, always lucky, and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.
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If horses knew their strength we should not ride anymore.
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The vast majority of the race whether savage or civilized, are secretly kind at heart and shrink from inflicting pain, but in the presence of the aggressive and pitiless minority they don't dare to assert themselves.
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Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together!
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Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.
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... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar.
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Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.
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We have infinite trouble in solving man-made mysteries it is only when we set out to discover the secret of God that our difficulties disappear.
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