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There has never been a Protestant boy nor a Protestant girl whose mind the Bible has not soiled.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Never
Soiled
Protestant
Protestants
Bible
Whose
Boys
Girl
Mind

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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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To write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers pay within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.
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The minute we get reconciled to a person, how willing we are to throw aside little needless punctilios and pronounce his name right.
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To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
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Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!
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I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere.
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The highest pleasure to be got out of freedom, and having nothing to do, is labor.
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Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.
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God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
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The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.
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In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.
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Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs one step at a time.
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The physician who knows only medicine, knows not even medicine.
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When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.
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Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.
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There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
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My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess second, don't drink - to excess third, don't marry - to excess.
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