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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Books
Reading
Book
Trying
Selfishly
Good
Sly
Always
Immoral
Time
Prevent
People
Wicked
More quotes by Mark Twain
It is so unsatisfactory to read a noble passage and have no one you love at hand to share the happiness with you. And it is unsatisfactory to read to one's self anyhow - for the uttered voice so heightens the expression.
Mark Twain
Concentration of power in a political machine is bad and an Established Church is only a political machine it was invented for that it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition.
Mark Twain
It is my custom to keep on talking until I get the audience cowed.
Mark Twain
While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
Mark Twain
There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.
Mark Twain
The new political gospel: public office is private graft.
Mark Twain
Eternal rest sounds comforting in the pulpit well, you try it once, and see how heavy time will hang on your hands.
Mark Twain
I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.
Mark Twain
My mind changes often ... People who have no mind can easily be steadfast and firm, but when a man is loaded down to the guards with it, as I am, every heavy sea of foreboding or inclination, maybe of indolence, shifts the cargo.
Mark Twain
Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more dreaded than wolves and death.
Mark Twain
A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
Mark Twain
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Mark Twain
But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go!
Mark Twain
To trust the God of the Bible is to trust an irascible, vindictive, fierce and ever fickle and changeful master.
Mark Twain
Humor is the good natured side of a truth.
Mark Twain
Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
Mark Twain
The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day.
Mark Twain
Always obey your parents - when they are present.
Mark Twain
I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.
Mark Twain
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
Mark Twain