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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Trying
Selfishly
Good
Sly
Always
Immoral
Time
Prevent
People
Wicked
Books
Reading
Book
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It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
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Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.
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The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which.
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Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together!
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It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
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The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.
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Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'
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Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.
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I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.
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[I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.
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Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.
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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
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France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
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Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time.
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It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.
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Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.
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Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
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