Quote

I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
People
Wicked
Books
Reading
Book
Trying
Selfishly
Good
Sly
Always
Immoral
Time
Prevent

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If you want to change the future, you must change what you're doing in the present.
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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
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Troubles are only mental it is the mind that manufactures them, and the mind can gorge them, banish them, abolish them.
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If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in the end more profitable, for it gains gratitude for us, and love.
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It is easier to manufacture seven facts out of whole cloth than one emotion.
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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.
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A man may have no bad habits and have worse
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A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.
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To me [Edgar Allen Poe's] prose is unreadable—like Jane Austin's [sic]. No there is a difference. I could read his prose on salary, but not Jane's. Jane is entirely impossible. It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death.
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The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.
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Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.
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Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.
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Now, isn't imagination a precious thing? It peoples the earth with all manner of wonders.
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It takes some little time to accept and realize the fact that while you have been growing old, your friends have not been standing still, in that matter.
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A habit cannot be tossed out the window it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
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Good wine needs no bush a jug is the thing.
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Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
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I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.
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Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
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