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None but the dead have free speech.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
None
Speech
Dead
Free

More quotes by Mark Twain

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My father was a Saint Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian.
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Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'
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Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself.
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A man may plan as much as he wants to, but nothing of consequence is likely to come of it until the magician circumstance steps in and takes the matter off his hands.
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The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf.
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To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.
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Two days overdue, THE WORLD'S WORK has not reached me. Pray make a note of this. I would rather not have to resort to violence.
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We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention.
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Man proposes, but God blocks the game.
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I am only human, although I regret it.
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The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.
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Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to sleep simply by getting out his blocks and mortar and building an addition to a church.
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'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged.
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But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.
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[I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.
Mark Twain