Quote

My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Came
Fast
Zealous
Five
Tried
Accumulated
Away
Disease
Diseases
Two
Christianity
Sixty
Years
Interested
Brands
Always
Brother
Forty
Went
Sister
Invalid
Called
Enjoyed
Newest

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
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We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that.
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Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
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Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.
Mark Twain
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
Mark Twain
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Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session.
Mark Twain
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I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.
Mark Twain
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Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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I am only human, although I regret it.
Mark Twain
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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.
Mark Twain
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Be good and you will be lonely.
Mark Twain
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The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.
Mark Twain
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No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot
Mark Twain
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The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
Mark Twain
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I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the lower animals (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.
Mark Twain
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... No photograph ever was good, yet, of anybody - hunger and thirst and utter wretchedness overtake the outlaw who invented it! It transforms into desperadoes the weakest of men depicts sinless innocence upon the pictured faces of ruffians gives the wise man the stupid leer of a fool, and the fool an expression of more than earthly wisdom.
Mark Twain
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What's the use you learning to do right , when it's troublesome to do right and it ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
Mark Twain
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You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been.
Mark Twain
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Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
Mark Twain
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it is not wise to keep the fire going under a slander unless you can get some large advantage out of keeping it alive. Few slanders can stand the wear of silence.
Mark Twain