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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Jokes
Masters
American
Cannot
Subtleties
Subtlety
Joke
Guides
Master

More quotes by Mark Twain

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My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies.
Mark Twain
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A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.
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But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That's the finest asset we've got - the ballot box.
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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
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I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie I can, but I won't.
Mark Twain
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The critic's symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else's dung, otherwise he could not hatch it.
Mark Twain
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April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
Mark Twain
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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
Mark Twain
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I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.
Mark Twain
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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
Mark Twain
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In the South the war is what A.D. is elsewhere they date from it.
Mark Twain
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One learns peoples through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.
Mark Twain
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Each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak.
Mark Twain
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Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
Mark Twain
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When people do not respect us we are sharply offended yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
Mark Twain
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As a rule, we go about with masks, we go about looking honest, and we are able to conceal ourselves all through the day.
Mark Twain
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I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.
Mark Twain
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I have no race prejudices, and I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. Indeed I know it. I can stand any society. All that I care to know is that a man is a human being-that is enough for me he can't be any worse.
Mark Twain
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The cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him, and even the fleas would desert him for a velocipede.
Mark Twain
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Good exercise for the heart: reach out and help your neighbor
Mark Twain