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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Cannot
Subtleties
Subtlety
Joke
Guides
Master
Jokes
Masters
American
More quotes by Mark Twain
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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Too bad that youth is wasted on the young.
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An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.
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I am content to be a bric-a-bracker and a Ceramiker.
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You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.
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Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth
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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
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But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That's the finest asset we've got - the ballot box.
Mark Twain
I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.
Mark Twain
I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn't break my bonds.
Mark Twain
For all the talk you hear about knowledge being such a wonderful thing, instinct is worth forty of it for real unerringness.
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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
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People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.
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Armor is heavy, yet it is a proud burden, and a man standeth straight in it.
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One must travel, to learn. Every day, now, old Scriptural phrases that never possessed any significance for me before, take to themselves a meaning.
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We take a natural interest in novelties, but it is against nature to take an interest in familiar things.
Mark Twain
The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.
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The law of work seems unfair, but nothing can change it the more enjoyment you get out of your work, the more money you will make.
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The Mississippi River will always have its own way no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise.
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If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.
Mark Twain