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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Jokes
Masters
American
Cannot
Subtleties
Subtlety
Joke
Guides
Master

More quotes by Mark Twain

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I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it.
Mark Twain
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As a boy, I once saw a cart of melons that sorely tempted me. I sneaked up to the cart and stole a melon. I went into the alley to devour it, but no sooner had I set my teeth into it, than I paused, a strange feeling coming over me. I came to a quick conclusion. Firmly, I walked up to that cart, replaced the melon - and took a ripe one.
Mark Twain
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All our acts, reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish
Mark Twain
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I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the tent. I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money, but I reckoned I better save it.... I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses, when there ain't no other way, but there ain't no use in wasting it on them.
Mark Twain
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Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
Mark Twain
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Synergy - the bonus that is achieved when things work together harmoniously.
Mark Twain
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I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education
Mark Twain
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A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.
Mark Twain
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Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?
Mark Twain
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There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.
Mark Twain
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The frankest and freest and privatest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter.
Mark Twain
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An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
Mark Twain
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Start it at no particular time of your life wander at your free will all over your life talk only about the thing which interests you for the moment drop it the moment its interest threatens to pale.
Mark Twain
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India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers India is the only millionaire.
Mark Twain
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To be, or not to be that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life.
Mark Twain
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Nothing so focuses the mind as the prospect of being hanged.
Mark Twain
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Life becomes fully understandable only the moment we realise that we are all mad.
Mark Twain
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Why is it that, among men, physical courage is a trait so plenteous yet moral courage is a trait so rare?
Mark Twain
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I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere.
Mark Twain
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It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
Mark Twain