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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Joke
Guides
Master
Jokes
Masters
American
Cannot
Subtleties
Subtlety

More quotes by Mark Twain

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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
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Sometimes people do get hurt
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Low comedies are written for the drawing-room, the kitchen and the stable, and if you cut out the kitchen and the stable the drawing-room can't support the play by itself.
Mark Twain
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It is your human environment that makes climate
Mark Twain
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But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.
Mark Twain
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How lovely is death and how niggardly it is doled out.
Mark Twain
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Why is it that, among men, physical courage is a trait so plenteous yet moral courage is a trait so rare?
Mark Twain
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The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.
Mark Twain
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Everybody lies...every day, every hour, awake, asleep, in his dreams, in his joy, in his mourning. If he keeps his tongue still his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude will convey deception.
Mark Twain
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All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.
Mark Twain
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Ours is the land of the free-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.)
Mark Twain
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When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain
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None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.
Mark Twain
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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain
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A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
Mark Twain
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Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.
Mark Twain
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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
Mark Twain
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This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
Mark Twain