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It is a pity we can't escape from life when we are young.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Escape
Pity
Young
Life

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The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.
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I've never let my school interfere with my education.
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There have been innumerable Temporary Seekers after the Truth-have you ever heard of a permanent one?
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To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
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Comedy keeps the heart sweet but we all know that there is wholesome refreshment for both mind and heart in an occasional climb among the pomps of the intellectual snow-summits built by Shakespeare and those others.
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Sometimes people do get hurt
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There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!
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Do one thing every day you don't want to do.
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We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes
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My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
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I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.
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He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
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Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.
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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
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When I want to read something nice, I sit down and write it myself.
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You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful that it is just a fearful joy to be alive and look at it and you know how you gaze, and your lips turn dry and your breath comes short, but you wouldn't be anywhere but there, not for the world.
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Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.
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Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.
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I have always been rather better treated in San Francisco than I actually deserved.
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