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A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Money
Brisk
Surest
Crowded
Signs
Plenty
Police
Trade

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The weakest of all weak things is a virtue that has not been tested in the fire.
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The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might.
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There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.
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Where every man in a state has a vote, brutal laws are impossible.
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After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.
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One thing at a time, is my motto - and just play that thing for all it is worth, even if it's only tto pair and a jack.
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Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
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I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.
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Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.
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Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.
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You cant reach old age by another man's road, my habits protect my life but they would assassinate you
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I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.
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In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.
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Man is the only animal that is cruel. It kills just for the sake of it.
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