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I never made a success of a lecture delivered in a church yet. People are afraid to laugh in a church. They can't be made to do it in any possible way.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Never
Laugh
People
Afraid
Laughing
Possible
Church
Success
Lecture
Made
Delivered
Way
Lectures

More quotes by Mark Twain

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To forget pain is to be painless to forget care is to be rid of it to go abroad is to accomplish both.
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Greece is a bleak, unsmiling desert, without agriculture, manufactures or commerce, apparently. What supports its poverty-stricken people or its Government, is a mystery.
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Authorship is not a trade, it is an inspiration authorship does not keep an office, its habitation is all out under the sky, and everywhere the winds are blowing and the sun is shining and the creatures of God are free.
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The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
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You can't throw too much style into a miracle.
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There have been innumerable Temporary Seekers after the Truth-have you ever heard of a permanent one?
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Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!
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Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where all things that are divine belong.
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The average man don't like trouble and danger.
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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
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In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination
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Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.
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It isn't safe to sit in judgment upon another person's illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he may be knowing it is a planet.
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I have traveled more than anyone else, and I have noticed that even the angels speak English with an accent.
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Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.
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There is a great difference between feeding parties to wild beasts and stirring up their finer feelings in an inquisition. One is the system of degraded barbarians, the other of enlightened civilized people.
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When in doubt tell the truth.
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They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.
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There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press
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