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Low comedies are written for the drawing-room, the kitchen and the stable, and if you cut out the kitchen and the stable the drawing-room can't support the play by itself.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Written
Kitchen
Play
Drawing
Lows
Cutting
Room
Rooms
Comedy
Comedies
Support
Stable
More quotes by Mark Twain
A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.
Mark Twain
I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it.
Mark Twain
How lovely is death and how niggardly it is doled out.
Mark Twain
What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
Mark Twain
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
Mark Twain
The human race consists of the damned and the ought-to-be damned.
Mark Twain
I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.
Mark Twain
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Mark Twain
If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time.
Mark Twain
We grant God the possession of all the qualities of mind except the one that keeps the others healthy that watches over their dignity that focuses their vision true--humor.
Mark Twain
He was such a good man that people hated to see him coming.
Mark Twain
The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing, it is the thing to watch over and care for and be loyal to institutions are extraneous. . . .
Mark Twain
To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.
Mark Twain
Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
Mark Twain
Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
Mark Twain
Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket - which is but a matter of saying, Scatter your money and your attention but the wise man saith, Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET. - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
Mark Twain
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks - in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present you should have recognized them earlier.
Mark Twain
Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.
Mark Twain
Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to good use.
Mark Twain
Temperate temperance is best intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.
Mark Twain