Quote

There is no family in America without a clock, and consequently there is no fair pretext for the usual Sunday medley of dreadful sounds that issues from our steeples.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Family
Sunday
America
Clock
Without
Fairs
Medley
Sounds
Steeples
Fair
Pretext
Issues
Dreadful
Church
Consequently
Sound
Usual

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If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the Constitution, it would be better all around.
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Inherited ideas are a curious thing, and interesting to observe and examine.
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The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.
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We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
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More than once I had seen a noble who had gotten his enemy at a disadvantage stop to pray before cutting his throat.
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I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.
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My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.
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We recognize that there are no trivial occurrences in life if we get the right focus on them.
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I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
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First catch your Boer, then kick him.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.
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Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
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That optimist of yours is always ready to turn hell's backyard into a play-ground.
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How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.
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I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
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Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
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After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.
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The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.
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