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I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Worth
Humor
Cent
Wasn
Cents
Millions
Investing
Two
Economics
Years
Debt
Dollars
Million

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth
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Age enlarges and enriches the powers of some musical instruments - notably those of the violin - but it seems to set a piano's teeth on edge.
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It's my opinion that every one I know has morals, though I wouldn't like to ask. I know I have. But I'd rather teach them than practice them any day. Give them to others-that's my motto.
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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
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One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself
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What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can honestly if we must. Who is God, the one and only true? Money is God. Gold and Greenbacks and Stock-father, son, and ghosts of same, three persons in one These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
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The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal
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To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.
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Humor is the good natured side of a truth.
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I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
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The thing for us to do is just to do our duty, and not worry about whether anybody sees us do it or not.
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Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
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I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.
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We don't cut up when mad men are bred by the old legitimate regular stock religions, but we can't allow wildcat religions to indulge in such disastrous experiments.
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There isn't anything you can't stand if you are only born and bred to it.
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Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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I persuaded him to throw the dirk away and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.
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When some men discharge an obligation, you can hear the report for miles around.
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Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me and they keep multiplying but now they can't ever be said. And besides, they would require a library-and a pen warmed up in hell.
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He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
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