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I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Wasn
Cents
Millions
Investing
Two
Economics
Years
Debt
Dollars
Million
Worth
Humor
Cent

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Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.
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Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?
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In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.
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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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We are all alike, on the inside.
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It’s not the good that die young, it’s the lucky.
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Let us draw the curtain of charity over the rest of this scene
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There will never be a perfect time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you had started today one year ago, this would not even be an issue for you today! Don't waste another year!
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Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.
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I don't believe there is anything in the whole earth that you can't learn in Berlin except the German language.
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I always did hate for anyone to know what my plans or hopes or prospects were—for, if I kept people in ignorance in these matters, no one could be disappointed but myself, if they were not realized.
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The physician who knows only medicine, knows not even medicine.
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My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.
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It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
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College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.
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Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity but bet on the other one -- this is business.
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The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.
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Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty.
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But death was sweet, death was gentle, death was kind death healed the bruised spirit and the broken heart, and gave them rest and forgetfulness death was man’s best friend when man could endure life no longer, death came and set him free.
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The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.
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