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There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Snore
Snoring
Hear
Find
Way

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Humor is like a frog if you dissect it, it dies.
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A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.
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The master minds of all nations, in all ages, have sprung in affluent multitude from the mass of the nations, and from the mass of the nation only-not from its privileged classes.
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Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
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This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
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A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
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I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.
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He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three I attended their funerals.
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I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.
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Compliments make me vain: & when I am vain, I am insolent & overbearing. It is a pity, too, because I love compliments. I love them even when they are not so. My child, I can live on a good compliment two weeks with nothing else to eat.
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Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
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No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
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It will take mind and memory months and possibly years to gather together the details, and thus learn and know the whole extent of the loss.
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When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum.
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They did not know it was impossible so they did it
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The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal
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when we badly want a thing, we go to hunting for good and righteous reasons for it we give it that fine name to comfort our consciences, whereas we privately know we are only hunting for plausible ones.
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Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.
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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
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