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There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Snore
Snoring
Hear
Find
Way
More quotes by Mark Twain
Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!
Mark Twain
I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.
Mark Twain
For England must not fall: it would mean an inundation of Russian & German political degradations which would envelop the globe & steep it in a sort of Middle-Age night & slaverly which would last till Christ comes again - which I hope he will not do he made trouble enough before.
Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
Mark Twain
It is a pity we can't escape from life when we are young.
Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Mark Twain
Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
Mark Twain
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
Mark Twain
Whenever a copyright law is to be made or altered, then the idiots assemble.
Mark Twain
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
Mark Twain
A powerful agent is the right word: it lights the reader's way and makes it plain.
Mark Twain
An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.
Mark Twain
Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
Mark Twain
Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
Mark Twain
A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.
Mark Twain
I have a religion-but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none for the poor.....Perhaps your religion will sustain you,will feed you-I place no dependence in mine. Our religions are alike, though, in one respect-neither can make a man happy when he is out of luck.
Mark Twain
Few of us stand prosperity another man's I mean.
Mark Twain
The Mississippi River will always have its own way no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise.
Mark Twain
There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.
Mark Twain
It is wiser to find out than to suppose.
Mark Twain