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There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Snore
Snoring
Hear
Find
Way
More quotes by Mark Twain
If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.
Mark Twain
A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.
Mark Twain
All our acts, reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish
Mark Twain
You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
Mark Twain
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
Mark Twain
Too much is just enough.
Mark Twain
In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.
Mark Twain
Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.
Mark Twain
Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?
Mark Twain
Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it.
Mark Twain
Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.
Mark Twain
How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
Mark Twain
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
Mark Twain
They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.
Mark Twain
It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
Mark Twain
Do one thing every day you don't want to do.
Mark Twain
Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys.
Mark Twain
Authorship is not a trade, it is an inspiration authorship does not keep an office, its habitation is all out under the sky, and everywhere the winds are blowing and the sun is shining and the creatures of God are free.
Mark Twain
