Quote

There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.

Mark Twain

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Snore
Snoring
Hear
Find
Way

More quotes by Mark Twain

Image
The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate.
Mark Twain
Image
As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
Mark Twain
Image
Customs do not concern themselves with right or wrong or reason. But they have to be obeyed one reasons all around them until he is tired, but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden.
Mark Twain
Image
A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes when bad, he is entitled to none at all.
Mark Twain
Image
I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed - in a modified way - 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance.
Mark Twain
Image
Choosing not to read is like closing an open door to paradise
Mark Twain
Image
If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.
Mark Twain
Image
....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.
Mark Twain
Image
All our acts, reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish
Mark Twain
Image
It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.
Mark Twain
Image
Names are not always what they seem.
Mark Twain
Image
God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage
Mark Twain
Image
It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.
Mark Twain
Image
Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.
Mark Twain
Image
All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter and Lazarus had the worst.
Mark Twain
Image
There is only one expert who is qualified to examine the souls and the life of a people and make a valuable report - the native novelist. ... And when a thousand able novels have been written, there you have the soul of the people and not anywhere else can these be had.
Mark Twain
Image
As a boy, I once saw a cart of melons that sorely tempted me. I sneaked up to the cart and stole a melon. I went into the alley to devour it, but no sooner had I set my teeth into it, than I paused, a strange feeling coming over me. I came to a quick conclusion. Firmly, I walked up to that cart, replaced the melon - and took a ripe one.
Mark Twain
Image
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.
Mark Twain
Image
Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
Mark Twain
Image
We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can show off and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off.
Mark Twain