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A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Littles
Body
Tones
Little
Wholesome
Human
Harmless
Humans
Prevents
Thing
Tone
Good
Keeps
World
Fun

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A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.
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We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.
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By trampling upon the helpless abroad with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home.
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Experience teaches us only one thing at a time - and hardly that, in my case.
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The community is eminently Portuguese - that is to say, it is slow, poor, shiftless, sleepy, and lazy.
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Demagogue--a vessel containing beer and other liquids.
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The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal
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It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want—oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
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The moral of it is this: If you are of any account, stay at home and make your way by faithful diligence but if you are 'no account,' go away from home, and then you will have to work, whether you want to or not. Thus you become a blessing to your friends by ceasing to be a nuisance to them-if the people you go among suffer by the operation.
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Kings cannot ennoble thee, thou good, great soul, for One who is higher than kings hath done that for thee but a king can confirm thy nobility to men.
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
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Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists
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The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.
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The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
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Do you reckon Tom Sawyer was satisfied after all them adventures?
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It is a good thing to write for the amusement of the public, but it is a far higher and nobler thing to write for their instruction, their profit, their actual and tangible benefit.
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The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.
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When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
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The happy phrasing of a compliment is one of the rarest of human gifts, and the happy delivery of it another.
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