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It is not in the least likely that any life has ever been lived which was not a failure in the secret judgment of the person who lived it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Persons
Person
Ever
Likely
Life
Judgment
Lived
Failure
Least
Secret

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France has usually been governed by prostitutes
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Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.
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It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
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The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
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A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public
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Wheresoever she was, there was Eden.
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The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.
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Such is professional jealousy a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.
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Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.
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No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.
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When I want to read something nice, I sit down and write it myself.
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You are a coward when you even seem to have backed down from a thing you openly set out to do
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from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be. (Ought to was is better, perhaps, though the most of the authorities differ as to this.
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Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.
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What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
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Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
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It takes me a long time to lose my temper, but once lost I could not find it with a dog.
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All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best.
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You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.
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Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
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