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When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by violence.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Violence
Audience
Doe
Unaccompanied
Complain
Compliment
Complaining
More quotes by Mark Twain
The happy phrasing of a compliment is one of the rarest of human gifts, and the happy delivery of it another.
Mark Twain
Probably there is an imperceptible touch of something permanent that one feels instinctively to adhere to true humour, whereas wit may be the mere conversational shooting up of smartness--a bright feather, to be blown into space the second after it is launched...Wit seems to be counted a very poor relation to Humour....Humour is never artifici
Mark Twain
Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.
Mark Twain
It is the will of God that we must have critics, and missionaries, and Congressmen, and humorists, and we must bear the burden. Meantime, I seem to have been drifting into criticism myself. But that is nothing. At the worst, criticism is nothing more than a crime, and I am not unused to that.
Mark Twain
Learning softeneth the heart and breedeth gentleness and charity.
Mark Twain
All war must be just the killing of strangers against whom you feel no personal animosity strangers whom, in other circumstances, you would help if you found them in trouble, and who would help you if you needed it.
Mark Twain
Dates are hard to remember because they consist of figures figures are monotonously unstriking in appearance, and they don't take hold, they form no pictures, and so they give the eye no chance to help. Pictures are the thing. Pictures can make dates stick.
Mark Twain
By and by when each nation has 20,000 battleships and 5,000,000 soldiers we shall all be safe and the wisdom of statesmanship will stand confirmed.
Mark Twain
It was a place of sin, loose women, whiskey and gambling. It was no place for a good Presbyterian, and I did not long remain one.
Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths
Mark Twain
When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.
Mark Twain
Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.
Mark Twain
I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.
Mark Twain
Whenever a copyright law is to be made or altered, then the idiots assemble.
Mark Twain
The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan has eight hundred wives. This almost amounts to bigamy.
Mark Twain
A discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty.
Mark Twain
Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
Mark Twain
We are discreet sheep we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.
Mark Twain
The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
Mark Twain
What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth.
Mark Twain
