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God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Together
Women
Live
Requiring
Human
Cosmic
Humans
Joke
Great
Jokes
Men
Marriage
Race

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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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When whole races and peoples conspire to propagate gigantic mute lies in the interest of tyrannies and shams, why should we care anything about the trifling lies told by individuals?
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To eat is human, to digest, divine
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It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.
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Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
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Humor is like a frog if you dissect it, it dies.
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The modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism is loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.
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I have tried getting up early, and I have tried getting up late-and the latter agrees with me best.
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Golden rule: Made of hard metal so it could stand severe wear, it not being known at that time that butter would answer.
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There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!
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