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God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Great
Jokes
Men
Marriage
Race
Together
Women
Live
Requiring
Human
Cosmic
Humans
Joke

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Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech.
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We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.
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None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness but we can try.
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There are no accidents, all things have a deep and calculated purpose sometimes the methods employed by Providence seem strange and incongruous, but we have only to be patient and wait for the result: then we recognize that no others would have answered the purpose, and we are rebuked and humbled.
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They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.
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I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.
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Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens?
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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
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Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
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The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.
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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.
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I wish I could make him understand that a loving good heart is riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty.
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I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
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Nature knows no indecencies man invents them.
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Customs do not concern themselves with right or wrong or reason. But they have to be obeyed one reasons all around them until he is tired, but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden.
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Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.
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I hope all of us may eventually be together in everlasting peace and bliss -- except the inventor of the # telephone .
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Travel is lethal to prejudice.
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