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Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Ignorance
Dense
Almost
Egotism
Headedness
Self
Assertion
Chuckle
Intolerance
Chuckles
Pathetic
Opaque
Twenty
Unconsciousness
Twenties
Pitiful
Perception
Nineteen

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A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
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To trust the God of the Bible is to trust an irascible, vindictive, fierce and ever fickle and changeful master.
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If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him.
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The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
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Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
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A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.
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In the laboratory there are no fustian ranks, no brummagem aristocracies the domain of Science is a republic, and all its citizens are brothers and equals, its princes of Monaco and its stonemasons of Cromarty meeting, barren of man-made gauds and meretricious decorations, upon the one majestic level!
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I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
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No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live.
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The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.
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The modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism is loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.
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Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.
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The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.
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In my experience, previously counted chickens never do hatch.
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I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
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Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart.
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I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the lower animals (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.
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Life is short. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly and love truly.
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You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.
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Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.
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