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Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Intolerance
Chuckles
Pathetic
Opaque
Twenty
Unconsciousness
Twenties
Pitiful
Perception
Nineteen
Ignorance
Dense
Almost
Egotism
Headedness
Self
Assertion
Chuckle

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Why is it that, among men, physical courage is a trait so plenteous yet moral courage is a trait so rare?
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It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
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He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
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When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots.
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The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.
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There will never be a perfect time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you had started today one year ago, this would not even be an issue for you today! Don't waste another year!
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As a rule we develop a borrowed European idea forward, and ... Europe develops a borrowed American idea backwards.
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You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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There is no family in America without a clock, and consequently there is no fair pretext for the usual Sunday medley of dreadful sounds that issues from our steeples.
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The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.
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I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education
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When some men discharge an obligation, you can hear the report for miles around.
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I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo.
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That optimist of yours is always ready to turn hell's backyard into a play-ground.
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Time spent with your children is time wisely spent.
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I am dead to adverbs they cannot excite me. To misplace an adverb is a thing which I am able to do with frozen indifference it can never give me a pang. There are subtleties which I cannot master at all - they confuse me, they mean absolutely nothing to me - and this adverb plague is one of them.
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Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.
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Too bad that youth is wasted on the young.
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You may call a jay a bird. Well, so he is, in a measure--because he's got feathers on him, and don't belong to no church, perhapsbut otherwise he is just as much a human as you be. And I'll tell you for why. A jay's gifts and instincts, and feelings, and interests, cover the whole ground. A jay hasn't got any more principle than a Congressman.
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