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It is my custom to keep on talking until I get the audience cowed.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Customs
Audience
Talking
Keep
Cowed
Custom
Cows

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The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
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It is a good thing to write for the amusement of the public, but it is a far higher and nobler thing to write for their instruction, their profit, their actual and tangible benefit.
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The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
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A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
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It is a good and gentle religion, but inconvenient.
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Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.
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I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.
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I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.
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Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys.
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Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?
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But it warn't no time to be sentimentering.
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That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.
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I never felt so fervently thankful, so soothed, so tranquil, so filled with the blessed peace, as I did yesterday when I learned that Michael Angelo was dead.
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Never argue with people who buy ink by the gallon.
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Training- training is everything training is all there is to a person. We speak of nature it is folly there is no such thing as nature what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training. We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own they are transmitted to us, trained into us.
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I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.
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